Arise Brethren, the Barclays Premier League Is Back!

Adebayo Adetayo

Cheers Brothers and the few fortunate sisters that may actually have an interest in 22 brazen men getting stuck-in over displacing a circular object between two bars. It’s about that time again and we’ve all had a few months managing our Barclays Premier League withdrawals but the addiction is back and we really can’t wait to get started. So basically, I’m just gonna rant about how I feel top English club sides might fare this season. It’s just a rant and you should try not to take me too seriously, especially Gooners (I do not have good news for you here). So let’s just start;

Manchester City coming of a second title win in 3 years already seem a team that won’t be falling far off the top this season. Having retained key players, signing them onto new contracts and making a few quality additions in Mangala and Willy, they seem to be reaching a level that might emit some form of stability although, you never know for sure what stability is in football (re: Pulis and Crystal Palace). That said, given they can avoid treacherous unforgivable acts like forgetting Yaya’s birthday, they should definitely put up a brilliant title defense.

Liverpool sure walked with plenty for periods over the season but stood on their own when it mattered most. The previous season would be remembered by many Kop fans as one where club captain Stevie G sent a dagger through their dreams (re: wonder assist to Demba Ba). But even with man-eater Suarez’s departure, Liverpool still seem to have about enough to perform well enough and achieve a respectable position in the league but many, including me, still think a league win is just a little too much for this current crop. Yes, Sterling, Coutinho and LAZAR may be some of Europe’s best young players but they are “young” and that would mean there’s still some fundamental “growth” to be accrued.

Then we have Chelsea. Mourinho seems to be talking his way into the pressure room as it seems, but then, why won’t he? David Luiz, who was cantankerous for Brazil against Germany by the way, was sold for £50 million. That alone is enough to make any man boisterous. This coupled with the return of Europe’s best goalkeeper Thibaut (This is a very personal opinion, Neuer fanboys), and the additions of war-like figure Diego Costa and the formerly sublime Cesc Fabregas has put Chelsea right untop in the stakes for league domination. They sure have the quality across the board to win and a lot of people would be tipping them for top honours this season.

Well Arsenal fans, I have a big surprise for you. I do not have Arsenal finishing 4th this season, I honestly think it might get worse this season. So Arsenal fans ask for improvement in a team having Giroud as a starting (and sole) centre forward and Arteta as the main holding midfielder and they get Sanchez, a wide forward? But a lot of Arsenal fans seem to be surprisingly quixotic about this development and that just reeks of several years of hoping and staying positive even without getting results. I’d simply say this; if Arsenal refuse to address that critical need in the midfield they have absolutely no hope of winning the league this season and would probably struggle to make the champions league.

Tottenham seem an unknown element in the upcoming season. Transfer activities have been ongoing but have been quiet and seem more future building than anything else. Well, Tottenham sure had a couple of comical periods over the past season with confused Andre and raging Tim in the helm but have now appointed Pochettino who looks set to utilise last season’s purchases. Are they good enough? I doubt it but we really are just gonna have to wait and see. A 5th placed finish looks like maximal honours for Spurs this year.

Honestly, I intended skipping Everton on this review but that wouldn’t be doing justice to their remarkable performance last season and giving their additions in the summer, they might prove again to be the mosquito whizzing about and between England’s current top clubs. Everton have always been there and thereabouts but to suggest that Martinez has taken them to the very next level may be a little too far-fetched. That said, they really can be a threat in Champions League qualification contention this season and we’d hope to see some nail-biting stuff from Martinez’s boys.

And now Manchester United. I had to save the last review for the world’s greatest club. (quips). But jokes aside, LVG seems like that supervillain that comes around after his subsidiaries have outlasted their strength and brutally beats the protagonist up. His appointment at United just seems very “right man for the right occasion”-ish kinda stuff. Ok, maybe I’m saying too much so I’ll just conclusively say that, LVG is so good that Manchester United even in the presence of witless skreps (slang word for “useless footballers”) I need not name and the absence of world-class signings may still be title challengers this season. This does not authoritatively mean that United won’t struggle to finish 5th this season, they factually have players designed to struggle for 5th and even positions further down the BPL table.